half-assed chic

I knew this day was coming. It was afterall, my stupid idea in the first place. And I could have easily  skipped it, nobody would be the wiser. But the things is, I stocked up for it. Big time.  Not sure what I mean by that? Well, then you’re probably not carrying around an extra toddlers worth of fat the way I am. What I mean is that 3 weeks ago I decided that since it appears I cannot peel an onion or scratch my nose without tweeting about it, I would start a blog, to highlight my weight loss efforts. And ever since I have been treating each meal as if this is the last one before the Big Diet. Burgers, chips, frenchtoast dripping with bacon(!!), chocolate….I won’t go on…but I could….

Here’s the thing: I am not a blogger. I probably will not entertain or inform. I am not a weightloss expert either. My approach has always been start off fast & furious and then crash at mid-point. So realistically, I cannot even guarantee I will keep either this blog or my efforts for very long.  But something just feels different. It may be my now too tight Gap curvy bootcut jeans waistband digging into my stomach, but it may also be that recently I have decided that there doen’t have to be just one way to do this. I am so used to grabbing hold of an opinion or belief and not letting go. I will read and probe and investigate as much as possible. Get overwhelmed -gawd, who wouldn’t – and out of desperation, announce, loudly, what is black and what is white.  But take a look at my header (the picture above). Apparently, there are more than 456, 987, 346 ways to lose weight. And, apparently I suck at all of them.

I have a huge list of reasons why I got fat:

1. A for- real thyroid condition (not just a tubbie claiming one)

2. The medication to treat thyroid problem. Oh and for fun, I also take a betablocker for a heart thingy condition. Combined these drugs have managed to add to my ass AND shed my lovely locks, all in one fell swoop.

3. BonsBons & Starch I like nothing more than to have a great big fatty meal to look forward to. and a bag of BBQ chips to wash it down with.  Enough said, I eat waaay too much and waaay too poorly.And for fun, these cravings  only strike after 9pm. Way better late at night too. Lovely.

Now I  have to find a few ways to get un-fat. Luckily, I thrive on public humiliation & shame.  Not that I don’t want your support – I just suspect it will be your taunting and gloating that fires me up!

One last thought: Compare the photos. Really – do I even have to explain how this happened

sad, lame lemon water

sad, lame lemon water

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7 Comments

Filed under Heavy Weight Wednesdays, Saucy, Scaling Back, Un-burnt Food

7 responses to “half-assed chic

  1. emma

    well, I love to tease the chubby girls (being one myself & all) so good luck!! Can’t wait to see what happens next…

  2. drop50lbs

    Good luck!

    I’m one week into my latest diet and like you I’m hoping this time is different and have decided to blog it. I’m carrying more than a spare toddler around, more like an 8-year-old kid 😦

  3. You ARE a blogger now! 😉 Good luck on your fitness/health journey – and btw – that water jug rocks!

  4. You are a blogger, and your posts are extremely entertaining. You can do it! Or become hydrated trying!!

  5. You are way too funny! Best of luck girl. And please don’t read my blog. Just keep on drinking that sad lemon water and eating healthy! I’m rooting for you.

    • suzieswapper

      yikes, I had to do it (sneak a peek at your blog) I love all things chutney and yours sounds especially good, so get your warning now! I am off to *enjoy* another glass of water! Thanks!!!

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