wonky people are ubiquitous and drive me bonkers

wonky people are ubiquitous and drive me bonkers.


OK. The truth is, I have no idea if this is even true (or um, like grammatically correct) but if it was – it probably would drive me bonkers.

But I just wanted – no, needed – an excuse to use up 3 of my favorite words (wonky, bonkers, ubiquitous) in one sentence. See, I am having food as comfort kinda day and was searching for fun distractions from eating. I have a history of distracting myself from chips by eating pizza. Or distracting myself from chocolate by eating candy. Apparently, this is not ideal.

(Oh sidebar:  I used to be all about the quotation marks but now I just thrive on italics. Another useful distraction.)

So, basically I have temporarily given up all things associated with munching: reading, tv, bathing (yep, this is done. A good friend once told me her son’s favorite bathtime activity was to make a bowl of buttery-goodness popcorn and put it into a big ‘ol flat bottomed bowl so it floats and enjoy it in the bath.  I dare you not to try this!), movies, phone calls – anything where my hands are left unattended basically.  As previously mentioned, I have read a few books on diet & nutrition, I just find their hellful helpful suggestions about as useful as a useful as a fish on a bicycle

useful fish on a bicycle

useful fish on a bicycle

I could Get a hobby, Join a club, do yoga, collect stamps or dance. Yep, I can dance??

Screw it – here is my list of pathetic (yet effective) distractions.

Feel free (I am begging you actually) to add your ideas:

online shopping at anthropologie for things I cannot afford

Or maybe I'll just eat the baguette...

searching for split ends

hanky panky

create iTunes playlist for our holiday party (where 100 people bring mounds & mounds of delicious food)

watch Liz Lemon mash-ups (except for all the food references  – so like, almost all of them)



Filed under Heavy Weight Wednesdays, Saucy

9 responses to “wonky people are ubiquitous and drive me bonkers

  1. So, wrong use of ubiquitous, but an absolutely hilarious post nonetheless. They do NOT eat popcorn in the bath, really???? You are too entertaining to me!

  2. neeroc

    So I pick hanky panky. But let’s say you’re in public, then I vote for knitting! Tv, phone, meeting, hockey game, theatre, restaurants all good place for knitting…I’ve tried it in the tub, not such a great experience.

    • suzieswapper

      I see people knitting on the subway all the time. They look mesmerized by it, most aren’t even looking at their work either, it’s like they are in a woolen trance…

  3. melgallant

    What about rolling a coin across your fingers? I can’t do it myself but it’s fun to try.

    Also I heard that reaching for a cup of water instead of a snack is a good thing to do. Sometimes you can mistake your body’s signal for hydration as one of hunger. I myself don’t drink nearly enough of water either way so not sure if this tip really works or not – LOL.

    • suzieswapper

      You seem to belong to the same “Do as I say not as I do” club as me, lol!! But love challenges so am working on my coin roll right now! Thanks!

  4. Love your post and stick with it. My suggestion to keep yourself otherwise occupied besides Hanky Panky which would be my first choice, is colouring. I know, sounds strange but quite relaxing.

    • suzieswapper

      Coloring? I gave that up in grade 5 since I could never stay in the lines but willing to try anything that can be done in public….thanks!!

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