So a satirist, a philosopher and an author walk into a bathroom…
Please tell me I was not the only one slightly envious of that women in Paris trapped in her washroom for 20 days? Seriously, she’s fine. She spent her days showering & brushing her teeth. She also managed to *shed* a few pounds – how cool is that?
“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue” Dorothy Parker
But it wasn’t just the weight loss or the white teeth that appealed to me…she literally lived in a A room of her own.
And she did it all, in Paris no less – without having to cook one single meal!
I love my family, this goes without saying. I have truly adored being at home with them as a SAHM for the past several years. But lately, I find myself exhausted by their combined insatiable appetites. Especially since – like their inability to agree on a meal – my 3 men cannot seem to synchronize the timing of these meals either. This has always been just manageable. But throw into the mix my older sons insistence on pasta for every pre-hockey game & my recent shift to eat dishes that don’t add to my ass, and you can see the problem right? On an average day I could be making & serving the following:
Breakfast: cereal,fruit,toast & peanut butter, toast without peanut butter, oatmeal with fruit
Lunch: grilled cheese, chicken noodle soup, fruit, veggies with humus, veggies without humus, pasta with sauce
Snack #1 Leftover pasta, smoothies with banana, smoothies without banana
Dinner: Roasted chicken, pasta, chicken ceasar salad, peanut butter sandwich, sliced fruit
Dinner #2: Pasta, crudite, peanut butter with banana, leftover chicken, leftover salad, leftover fruit
Snack: popcorn, apples, smoothies, peanut butter, pasta
Now before you get all judgy and start
telling me sternly gently suggesting that I serve 3 meals, all uniform and that’s it, kitchen is closed – don’t bother. My guys have no problem serving themselves. That is not the problem – they are simply both going through weird growth spurts that require them both to eat every 2 hours, never the same food twice (unless it is pasta or peanut butter), and never at the same time as their brother. They are sweet , grateful, appreciative and not fussy. They are simply hungry & growing. I suspect my acceptance of their wonky eating habits becomes less than generous as my hunger pangs for pasta & chocolate grow.
And starting tomorrow, I will be returning to work. Apparently, “we can evade reality, but we cannot evade the consequences of evading reality” (Ayn Rand)
And apparently, moving into a bigger house, renovating it and feeding it require two solid incomes in this house. So rather than meal-planning, cleaning and preparing for my new “adventure” I have been playing the trapped in a bathroom alone game, “If you could have dinner of your choice with 3 people of your choice of food, what would it be?
Answer: pasta, obviously. With loads of buttered bread, wine fried calamari & tiramisu for dessert. Hell, I’d even give up the tiramisu just to make room for these 3 ladies at the same table!!