eat it out

At 2pm, I received a call from my son’s school, urging me to get there – quickly.

Goosebumps & Nausea!!

I won’t get into the details of what happened when we arrived. After all, this blog is all about  ME! ME! ME! But he is fine, unharmed & everything will be ok, though we are still incredibly rattled.

And by rattled I mean the get home throw on some pyjama’s (at 3 in the afternoon) and raid the pantry for all things carb kinda rattled. We’ve got popcorn, corn chips, bbq chips, doritos  – sweet chipmunks, I can have it all!

Except that earlier in the day, while hard at *work* I stumbled upon this little gem from author David a Kessler,

“…the food we ate for comfort has left its mark on the brain, creating a void that will need to be filled the next time we are cued. The result is a spiral of wanting”.

The result is a spiral of wanting.

Ok, so I was momentarily distracted with the poetic choice of words and-  mindlessly- reached for another chip. But it did make me stop and ponder. I am a cue eater & self-enabler, all snuggled up into one big-assed lump of salt, sugar & fat.  Of course I was beyond worried about my son while driving to school, but the minute I got home all I could focus on was comfort, in the form of chips & chocolate.  So I opened the bag of Ms. Vickies, grabbed a few (and by *a few* I mean as many as I could stuff into my chubby paws as possible) and without actually chewing, gobbled some down. Then a few more.  Oy. A part of me recognized the ridiculousness in what I was doing, crap, I couldn’t even taste them, they were going down so fast…desperately, I tweeted an SOS call for help, begging someone to demand I stop. And about a bazillion kind-hearted souls did just that. Except – I may have replaced the chip bowl with a bottle of wine, but red wine carries resveratrol right? (Wondering what that is? Me too but it sounds all medicinal & healthy so I’m sure it is).

See all that sploshy resveratrol goodness??

Twitter: One …Brain Cues: Zero….this time

So, it turns out that even though historically & habitually and more importantly destructively –  I prefer to Eat it Out (eeewww, gross, so not what it sounds like) more than hugging it out (like my TV boyfriend Ari does) sometimes being aware, and asking for HELP!!! really can make a difference. So, I wanted to say thanks to everyone (the all 5 of you who read this, including my mom) who have been supportive, and encouraging me in this week-long (but starting to feel like years long)  battle.



Filed under Heavy Weight Wednesdays, Saucy, Un-burnt Food, Uncategorized

4 responses to “eat it out

  1. Diana

    Keep up the hard work – I’m in the same place as you. But being way to stubborn to give up the foods I love more than my hubby (chocolate and ice cream) I joined a gym. Lost 20 pounds and refused to give up the goodies! Now I’m stuck at 178 pounds (still thinking that 150 is a correct weight for my 5’7″ frame)! NOw I have a 17 year old daughter that whipped up two loaves of banana bread (with chocolate chips of course) to tempt me even more to “eat it out”!

    Oh yeah – I will fight you for Ari!!!

    • suzieswapper

      I have already called shotgun on Ari but E and Turtle are both very cute too!
      And congrats on your amazing weightloss, I can’t wait to have that sort of an accomplishment!

  2. I SO know that feeling. The mindless GOBBLING of food that seems to calm something the brain. Why on earth are we programmed in a way that that would ever seem like a solution??! And why isn’t it easier to un-program!?

    A support network can make ALL the difference in getting that help you need. Losing it has been amazing for that – maybe you can start the mtl version 😉

    • suzieswapper

      I had a friend a few years ago and we were an amazing support system for one another. But alas, she broke up with me…however, I do find writing about it does help and starting shortly, I will begin a food journal too for accountability. but just getting comments & feedback from people, and seeing what resonant with others really keeps me going! So, thanks!!

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