and that’s how much I weigh…or at least that’s what it feels like. For the first time ever (and this includes to pregnancies) I actually feel as if my stomach is too big. It hurts. It whines. It makes strange noises and occasionally emits funky odors.
I don’t get it – I have been writing about weight loss for weeks now. And talking about it. I read about it incessantly. And still no weight loss. So I am going to try um, acting on it now. I will go old-school – and by this I mean jump (carefully) on a scale and actually look at the number. I do know I am past overweight – this is where the word obese is joyously introduced into conversation. I feel like shit and am beginning to smell like it too.
For the record, I am trying to lose weight for me but mainly because my doctor suggested it. I am noticing a trend where educated, articulate feminist gals are not meant to admit to wanting to lose weight. It is akin to giving up the vote and putting our bras back on (for the record, I barely wear one…just sayin). One women remarked that with my attitude, it is a blessing that I do not have girls. Here’s the thing: I like feeling pretty And sometimes I feel pretty in a dress and makeup (but never, ever with heels, those things hurt, man). and sometimes I feel all pretty and snuggly in my pj’s with a well- moisturized face and freshly brushed teeth. Sometimes I feel pretty, sweating along to a crazy Jillian Michels DVD. I don’t know how you define it, but pretty to me mainly feels like there is alway the hint of a smile and a twinkly in my eye. I stand a little straighter and smile more. If I get that from being able to wear size 8 jeans (as if!!!) then amazing. I also know that regardless of size, making the right food choices and pumping some iron while listening to Flashdance also make s me feel pretty good too. But not being able to reach down to the ground properly and farting and huffing & puffing up the stairs: Not so pretty. So I have chosen not to wait: by my 40th birthday I want to feel 16 pounds prettier. Just call me Gloria!!
p.s. this 16pounds will not get me to svelte….it’s just that my birthday is 8 weeks away (Valentines Day but don’t worry there will be plenty of reminders) and 2 pounds a week seemed reasonable. I will still have miles to go after that, not too worry!