So, I have written and talked and contemplated weight loss for several weeks now, but as usual, have neglected much of the …. ummmmmm….. doing it part. But I am very grateful now that I was weak and cowardly earlier today and let myself get bullied into working out by a kind, fierce friend who swears way too much.
So, I worked out, felt sick, smelt sick and then I showered and now…I am a warrior.
Seriously, I spent the entire afternoon singing & whistling and feeling great.
Until my husband got home.
So, husband is home, dinner is ready (yep and the fact that I managed somehow to both workout and prepare dinner in the same day has also contributed to my glee/Glee – husband claims this is a first btw). I am singing (not unloudly) as I dish out the chicken and suddenly husband bursts into laughter. H asks me, pretty please, to repeat what I have just sung, in the same smug-ish voice he uses when I try to pronounce irregular French verbs. Ok, it’s a tune I’ve had stuck in my head all afternoon, so no problem:
Me: “…My Ass is On Fire……”
Him: Can you sing it again?
Me: Sure…(clearing throat)…My Ass Is On Fire
Him: Right. Walks over to laptop and clicks on this video:
Me: Oh Shit…well whatever…why do those boys all look the same?…my version makes more sense anyhow”
And then he reminds me the time I confused this one too:
“Later on, we’ll conspire, as we dream by the fire…”
And my version:
‘” Later on, we’ll perspire, as we dream by the fire…”
Husband’s equally “funny” father got miles of jokes and laughter from that one. Used to sing it like that during the holidays. Yup, they’re all “funny”.
I don’t limit my gaffes to songs either. Earlier in the week, I noticed there were 4 empty beer bottles from the previous night,and he was the only one drinking. I turned to husband and declared:
“Husband, you got some ‘splaining to do.” Except I used my best Gary Coleman-Different Strokes voice. Except,as everyone except me knows, this infamous ‘spression was coined by Ricky Ricardo.
Husband did abrupt double take and lectured me on the appropriate Different Strokes – I Love Lucy pop culture applications. On a related and stunningly uninteresting note (husband specializes in related and stunningly uninteresting notes, sidebars and footnotes), did you know that Ricky Ricardo was a famous and established band leader pre-Lucy? Me neither. Do you care? Me neither. I just thought he had great hair and a cute accent.
This is why husband will get leftovers tomorrow night.