So I used to have this one friend and now I don’t ( wouldn’t you love to know)… And the one thing we were really good at was losing weight together. It was half competition (that was my half) and half support system (um, yep, she was the good guy in all this). And it worked. Between us, I think we lost the equivalent of a husky third-grade boy scout and it was awesome.
And then she broke up with me.
And I rebound. A lot. With pizza. And chips. (Knowing all this would make her piss herself with pleasure, I bet. So I guess she wasn’t *all* good (There. Gratuitous insult complete) . But I digress…
And ever since I have been moaning, whining, plotting, planning, contemplating, pontificating, reading – and now, finally – writing about my attempts to lose weight. I have turned something simple into an algorithm best left for the nerdy dude Matt Damon played in Good Will Hunting.
All I really need is some help, gentle reader.
Basically, I am looking for a weight loss buddy. Someone to team up with. I have built this job posting to help: (Please note: single-digit sized people need not apply):
–Must be committed but not quite as committed as me.
-Must enjoy frantic phone calls, emails, and text messages where you talk me out of the bakery.
-Must enjoy chips, chocolate, cheese, pizza and cookies. I do not want to be the only one being deprived.
Preferably, I am looking for someone one size down from me – you will generously donate to me all your too-large clothing. However, willing to accept someone one size up, purely for the smugness factor.
-Must welcome verbal abuse.
-Must never lose more than me in any given week.
-Ability to see through all my bullshit and still want to motivate one another will be highly regarded.
The funny thing is – I am not really being funny! So, if you’re in a similar situation and looking to pair up, let me know! Having this blog is amazing – the feedback truly encouraging, but I would like to go one on one with someone so let me know if you’d be interested. (Must have email, facebook or twitter). Alternatively, here are some other openings: