Category Archives: Uncategorized

52pickup

As a kid, I played a lot of cards.  My parents split up when I was 7 and my mom’s social life consisted of *Fun Things That Can Be Done From Home*.  Enter Card Night.  I learned to rock  rummie, crazy eights and euchre. We’d set ourselves up: me with the  matching wooden chips and dip bowl, and my mom with her black coffee and over-sized glass ashtray (this was the seventies, no judging).

Fast forward 30-plus years and I am still crushing on chips and dip.  And now I’m the one with the coffee.   And I am participating in a blog about healthy lifestyles that uses a deck of cards as  it’s platform.  (Wow, I am never sure if I am using the word *ironic* properly (thanks, Alanis!!) but have no doubt that there is some of that here).

Regardless, I am proud (and nervous) to be part of  an awesome new project.  So,I am donating today’s blog to it:

Theresa Albert has written a new book, Ace Your Health and I have been selected to be one of the gang that gets to contribute to her blog. I will chronicle my journey in 52 weekly segments.  Her passion and enthusiasm are absolutely contagious and I am thrilled to be a part of this project.  The premise of the book is to adopt small healthy choices gradually and she uses the idea of a deck of cards to highlight these ideas.  Using the cards is a novel fun way to approach some sometimes not so fun stuff  ( I believe there is a chapter on caffeine reduction I will be avoiding).

I suspect I will be pegged the reluctant one .  Even so, Theresa already has me hooked on hemp and chia (Warning: you *may* want to invest heavily in dental floss before you begin)! Check out her site and  book – Both are (organically,pesticide-free , seasonally) jam-packed with tons of awesome  info!!

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I’m kind of not a big deal

I’m kind of not a big deal, and that’s ok.  But sometimes I just kind of forget, y’know?

Exhibit A.

When I was 10 I was the ultimate Solid Gold Dancers Fan, I used to watch it religiously and had their posters splattered all over my bedroom (ceiling). I even had – gasp – personalized autographs from a few of them.

Talk about "Dance Like Nobody's Watching"

I adored them and it looked like they thought I was pretty special too, right?  Until I went over to Katie’s house and  {louder shrieky} gasp, she had the same personalized autographed glossy 8×10 headshots as I did.  Apparently, anybody who asked got one – just like that. Turns out I wasn’t so special after all.   Fast forward to grade 8 math class:

Mr. Mucusker, my first school-girl crush: I was convinced that if he looked deep enough into my eyes, he would see me and crush right back.   I used to stare-wide-eyed and unblinking during his  lessons.   I got a C that year.  Typical.

So I was completely floored by a recent post by  the very amazing  Sharon D, who  wrote candidly about a part of her troubled youth and the man she  credits for reaching out, in  spite of everything and pulling her up.  In her case, this policeman  needed to show her that she really is kind of a big deal, since she couldn’t see it herself yet.

So the moral here is that we really are ALL kind of a big dealer actually.

Just that maybe we can’t always choose the MOMENTS of our Big-Dealness y’know?  (Really humiliating example to demostrate this is quickly approaching)

Exhibit B:

I am currently working on a top secret undercover project for spaghettiandspanx and  decided that getting an interview with Jessica Seinfeld would really help cement the project and give me focus ( ok, yep, and provide a whole lot of klout too) Eagerly, I wrote her an email asking her to contact me.  Three entire days went by and – nothing!!  I even sent her a couple of tweets, one which included a link to the 5 minute long confessional rant post.  See –  I was convinced that it would go something like this:

Jessica, upon reading the post where I break up with my scale: “ahhh hahaha hahahaha …Jerry, you gotta read this – this girl’s a riot {insert coffee shooting out of her nose from unexpected hilarity}

Jerry, in next room, doing um, funny things: Hey honey – can you keep it down.  Me and {insert cool celebrity here} are {insert funny activity}

Jessica: “yada yada yada Jerry, you gotta come watch this!!”

Jerry {enter stage right} camera pans in to Jerry reading intently: “honey, you gotta collaborate with this girl, she’s even funnier than me – not that there’s anything wrong with that” {as lone tear trickles down his face}

Um, what actually happened was she sent me a very gracious & polite note, regretting that she was unavailableDuh!!

Seriously, it was Mr. Mucusker all over again.  As soon as I come out of my imaginary fantasy -crazed daydream I am actually horrified by my behaviour.  Luckily I spent 3 hours completing a very complicated puzzle with my youngest , and now HE thinks I am kind of a big deal!

So tell me (PLEASE!!!) that, you too have been struck by delusions of  grandeur??  I am actually begging you to …*whimper*….

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Filed under Heavy Weight Wednesdays, Saucy, Scaling Back, Uncategorized

How we manage the holidays

“Peej…..how do you manage to stave off boredom and thirst while playing with your boys all day at the rink or the toboggan hill in the forest?”

PJ: “ummmm…..”

(This post proudly brought to you by my dear husband.  And Coors Light).  I was too busy contemplating weightloss

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eat it out

At 2pm, I received a call from my son’s school, urging me to get there – quickly.

Goosebumps & Nausea!!

I won’t get into the details of what happened when we arrived. After all, this blog is all about  ME! ME! ME! But he is fine, unharmed & everything will be ok, though we are still incredibly rattled.

And by rattled I mean the get home throw on some pyjama’s (at 3 in the afternoon) and raid the pantry for all things carb kinda rattled. We’ve got popcorn, corn chips, bbq chips, doritos  – sweet chipmunks, I can have it all!

Except that earlier in the day, while hard at *work* I stumbled upon this little gem from author David a Kessler,

“…the food we ate for comfort has left its mark on the brain, creating a void that will need to be filled the next time we are cued. The result is a spiral of wanting”.

The result is a spiral of wanting.

Ok, so I was momentarily distracted with the poetic choice of words and-  mindlessly- reached for another chip. But it did make me stop and ponder. I am a cue eater & self-enabler, all snuggled up into one big-assed lump of salt, sugar & fat.  Of course I was beyond worried about my son while driving to school, but the minute I got home all I could focus on was comfort, in the form of chips & chocolate.  So I opened the bag of Ms. Vickies, grabbed a few (and by *a few* I mean as many as I could stuff into my chubby paws as possible) and without actually chewing, gobbled some down. Then a few more.  Oy. A part of me recognized the ridiculousness in what I was doing, crap, I couldn’t even taste them, they were going down so fast…desperately, I tweeted an SOS call for help, begging someone to demand I stop. And about a bazillion kind-hearted souls did just that. Except – I may have replaced the chip bowl with a bottle of wine, but red wine carries resveratrol right? (Wondering what that is? Me too but it sounds all medicinal & healthy so I’m sure it is).

See all that sploshy resveratrol goodness??

Twitter: One …Brain Cues: Zero….this time

So, it turns out that even though historically & habitually and more importantly destructively –  I prefer to Eat it Out (eeewww, gross, so not what it sounds like) more than hugging it out (like my TV boyfriend Ari does) sometimes being aware, and asking for HELP!!! really can make a difference. So, I wanted to say thanks to everyone (the all 5 of you who read this, including my mom) who have been supportive, and encouraging me in this week-long (but starting to feel like years long)  battle.

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Laundry Day

First, since you are most likely wondering – I have not lost ANY weight since I began this journey – yesterday.  I know this because every time I am able to forget about eating for a few minutes or my tummy starts to rumble, I dash upstairs into the bathroom to weigh myself (completely aware that the very act of *racing*  may even be contributing to shedding big pounds). But alas, nothing yet. Feeling discouraged – as well as looking for a way to occupy my salty crunchy chip deprived fingers of action, I decided to implement a reward system.

Ever since an old friend told me about her parenting tricks of sticking toddler tylenol into her children’s sippy cups during trips to the mall and outright bribery for good behaviour when company came over, I have been attracted to the benefits of rewards (For the record, this was not the parenting philosophy I chose to adopt for my own kids.  I simply beat them for bad behaviour. Way more efficient). I am goal-oriented and am motivated by progress. But mainly I just like getting stuff. So today’s challenge was to work out. Tough, I have both boys home and oodles of laundry.

oodles of somebody else's laundry

Solution: Race up the stairs and back down again, frantically carrying piles of clean on way up, disgusting & dirty on the way dow. This took 45 minutes I kid you not. Without the frequent twitter breaks, at least 7. I am spent. If I had enough energy I would go weigh in but I am avoiding the third floor until bedtime now.

And now the fun begins: Reward time: I haven’t settled on a system yet. A treat for every 5 pounds?  I like electronics, especially the ones with cute little non-edible apples on them. I also like shoes, purses, belts. Basically I do not discriminate on cow parts, I like ’em all (yes, I do realize that is part of the problem). But I also like things that hang on walls. Lately, I have discovered so many new (to me) artists whose work I greatly admire.

cassia beck photography

Lori Richards

Normally, I do try to live by example. I would never suggest this approach to my kids. But my kids aren’t sluggish unhealthy sad sacks of sludge and fat like me. Thankfully.  I think being mildly frightened of me at times keeps them out of the house a fair bit, running away from their big mean mommy. Better than drugging them, I say!  What tricks do you use??

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