Tag Archives: exercise

My Ass Is On Fire

So, I have written and talked and contemplated weight loss for several weeks now, but as usual, have neglected much of the …. ummmmmm….. doing it part.  But I am very grateful now that I was weak and cowardly earlier today and let myself get bullied into working out by a kind, fierce friend who swears way too much.

hottest warrior ever

So, I worked out, felt sick, smelt sick and then I showered and now…I am a warrior.

Seriously, I spent the entire afternoon singing & whistling and feeling great.

Until my husband got home.

So, husband is home, dinner is ready (yep and the fact that I managed somehow to both workout and prepare dinner in the same day has also contributed to my glee/Glee – husband claims this is a first btw).  I am singing (not unloudly) as I dish out the chicken and suddenly husband bursts into laughter.  H asks me, pretty please, to repeat what I have just sung, in the same smug-ish voice he uses when I try to pronounce irregular French verbs.  Ok, it’s a tune I’ve had stuck in my head all afternoon, so no problem:

Me: “…My Ass is On Fire……”

Him: Can you  sing it again?

Me: Sure…(clearing throat)…My Ass Is On Fire

Him: Right.  Walks over to laptop and clicks on this video:

Me: Oh Shit…well whatever…why do those boys all look the same?…my version makes more sense anyhow”

And then he reminds me the time I confused this one too:

“Later on, we’ll conspire, as we dream by the fire…”

And my version:

‘” Later on, we’ll perspire, as we dream by the fire…”

Husband’s equally “funny” father got miles of jokes and laughter from that one. Used to sing it like that during the holidays. Yup, they’re all “funny”.

I don’t limit my gaffes to songs either. Earlier in the week,  I noticed there were 4 empty beer bottles from the previous night,and he was the only one drinking.  I turned to husband and declared:

“Husband, you got some ‘splaining to do.”  Except I used my best Gary Coleman-Different Strokes voice.  Except,as everyone except me knows, this infamous ‘spression was coined by Ricky Ricardo.

what chew talkin bout Lucy??

Husband did abrupt double take and lectured me on the appropriate Different Strokes – I Love Lucy pop culture applications. On a related and stunningly uninteresting note (husband specializes in related and stunningly uninteresting notes, sidebars and footnotes), did you know that Ricky Ricardo was a famous and established band leader pre-Lucy? Me neither. Do you care? Me neither. I just thought he had great hair and a cute accent.

This is why husband will get leftovers tomorrow night.



Filed under Heavy Weight Wednesdays, Saucy, Scaling Back

karma chameleon

They say you can never really understand the present until you understand the past.  And well, nothing is more important (or so it seemed) than high school – just ask Quinn or Finn but especially Kurt. High school days were not my Glory Days.  But they weren’t awful either.  I am almost ashamed to admit I was not a total loser in school – it seems ubiquitous & necessary these days.  It sometime seems as if the opposite of Loser is Bully these days but maybe that’s another post, n’est pas?


Apparently, I loved Bananarama, Siouxie & the Banshees, Boy George and Stompin Tom, all equally!!

Anyhow – of course High School is hard.  And it can suck. And I spent an awful lot of time trying to figure it (and myself) all out.  Apparently my solution was to see what hair-style suited me best.  I’m sure that explains my almost daily hairstyle shift.  Yes, part of it was simply trying to fit in, but I do remember just really getting a kick out of all the different groups & cliques & styles.  Well, almost all. I was never attracted to the jocks. I saved that for later when I married one. I would skip from group to group, changing my hair colour & musical tastes as I went.  At its worst, I thought myself a follower – a pathetic spineless moldy slab of jello (um, high school remember: hormones & all things dramatic to the max). At it’s best, I loved all the variety and my ability to fit in everywhere. I was open to all and not tethered by any. I was a free-spirit and learned from it all.  Either version has me averse to commitment.

So – Present Day &  I should know better than to join a gym.  Or sign up for boxing classes. Or commit to daily walks with a pal. I may have finally committed to one hair colour (that which best covers my greys) but I am still  the same curious, ever-changing, shifting, easily distracted gal.

By way of example, in the last few days I have considered joining a boxing club, trying indoor surfing (ok, this one really does sound awesome), trying out the couch to 5km and weight-training.  Understand – these are all amazing offerings, but they all also require some degree of commitment. And it may have taken 20 (or so) years but at last I have figured out that 1. Neon just doesn’t suit me and 2. I should not commit – not ever – to commitment (um, other than to my DH, obviously)

totally bitchin, dude...

So – this year, I will challenge myself to trying something new & different each month. I will only sign up for trial classes (preferably free ones!) and will not invest in any new equipment, DVD or class.  If you have any ideas or suggestions – for exercise, not hairstyles – I would love to hear them!!



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Filed under Heavy Weight Wednesdays, Saucy