Tag Archives: health

help wanted

Help Wanted.

So I used to have this one friend and now I don’t ( wouldn’t you love to know)… And the one thing we were really good at was losing weight together.  It was half  competition (that was my half) and half support system (um, yep, she was the good guy in all this).  And it worked.  Between us, I think we lost the equivalent of a husky third-grade boy scout and it was awesome.

And then she broke up with me.

And  I rebound.  A lot. With pizza.  And chips. (Knowing all this would  make her piss herself with pleasure, I bet.  So I guess she wasn’t *all* good (There. Gratuitous insult complete) .  But I digress…

And ever since I have been moaning, whining, plotting, planning, contemplating, pontificating, reading – and now, finally – writing about my attempts to lose weight.  I have turned something simple into an algorithm best left for  the nerdy dude Matt Damon played in Good Will Hunting.

All I really need is some help, gentle reader.

Basically, I am looking for a weight loss buddy.  Someone to team up with.  I have built this job posting to help: (Please note: single-digit sized people need not apply):

Must be committed but not quite as committed as me.

-Must enjoy frantic phone calls, emails, and text messages where you talk me out of the bakery.

-Must enjoy chips, chocolate, cheese, pizza and cookies. I do not want to be the only one being deprived.

Preferably, I am looking for someone one size down from me – you will generously donate to me all your too-large clothing.  However, willing to accept someone one size up, purely for the smugness factor.

-Must  welcome verbal abuse.

-Must never lose more than me in any given week.

-Ability to see through all my bullshit and still want to motivate one another will be highly regarded.

The funny thing is – I am not really being funny!  So, if  you’re in a similar situation and looking to pair up, let me know!  Having this blog is amazing – the feedback truly encouraging, but I would like to go one on one with someone so let me know if you’d be interested.  (Must have email, facebook or twitter). Alternatively, here are some other openings:


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Filed under Heavy Weight Wednesdays, Saucy

karma chameleon

They say you can never really understand the present until you understand the past.  And well, nothing is more important (or so it seemed) than high school – just ask Quinn or Finn but especially Kurt. High school days were not my Glory Days.  But they weren’t awful either.  I am almost ashamed to admit I was not a total loser in school – it seems ubiquitous & necessary these days.  It sometime seems as if the opposite of Loser is Bully these days but maybe that’s another post, n’est pas?

 

Apparently, I loved Bananarama, Siouxie & the Banshees, Boy George and Stompin Tom, all equally!!

Anyhow – of course High School is hard.  And it can suck. And I spent an awful lot of time trying to figure it (and myself) all out.  Apparently my solution was to see what hair-style suited me best.  I’m sure that explains my almost daily hairstyle shift.  Yes, part of it was simply trying to fit in, but I do remember just really getting a kick out of all the different groups & cliques & styles.  Well, almost all. I was never attracted to the jocks. I saved that for later when I married one. I would skip from group to group, changing my hair colour & musical tastes as I went.  At its worst, I thought myself a follower – a pathetic spineless moldy slab of jello (um, high school remember: hormones & all things dramatic to the max). At it’s best, I loved all the variety and my ability to fit in everywhere. I was open to all and not tethered by any. I was a free-spirit and learned from it all.  Either version has me averse to commitment.

So – Present Day &  I should know better than to join a gym.  Or sign up for boxing classes. Or commit to daily walks with a pal. I may have finally committed to one hair colour (that which best covers my greys) but I am still  the same curious, ever-changing, shifting, easily distracted gal.

By way of example, in the last few days I have considered joining a boxing club, trying indoor surfing (ok, this one really does sound awesome), trying out the couch to 5km and weight-training.  Understand – these are all amazing offerings, but they all also require some degree of commitment. And it may have taken 20 (or so) years but at last I have figured out that 1. Neon just doesn’t suit me and 2. I should not commit – not ever – to commitment (um, other than to my DH, obviously)

totally bitchin, dude...

So – this year, I will challenge myself to trying something new & different each month. I will only sign up for trial classes (preferably free ones!) and will not invest in any new equipment, DVD or class.  If you have any ideas or suggestions – for exercise, not hairstyles – I would love to hear them!!

 

 

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Filed under Heavy Weight Wednesdays, Saucy